helping hands

Recently I have been witness to the offer of help and the giver of the same. I have also in the recent past been the receiver of such help. I remember when my middle son was hospitalized with a spinal infection and subsequent treatments at home for 6 weeks. We were locked in the house to prevent more infections, loss of sleep due to the IV medications, and fear if I didn't do my job he would die. That was alot to absorb and I still don't think I ever fully grasped what was going on. I was just trying to get through it and do what was set before me. I couldn't think about what we needed past the next 8 hours.

But there were many hands offering help. Genuine offers of sincere loving help and I had nothing for them to do. The help I needed couldn't be brought by distant friends. I needed someone to make a copy of me so she could run around and do everything. So I didn't have to tell her where to put the dishes or how that was supposed to work.

Have you ever considered how many people it would take to replace you? I did. It would take 6 people doing 6 different jobs to replace me. Mom, cook, cleaner, dog wrangler (we had 4), bookkeeper, nurse (I can change a bandage like no one else), and general manager of all activities. Maybe more. I am highly skilled apparently, or just very good at doing lots of things at one time. I am still deciding.

Turning down those offers made me feel guilty. It was difficult to simply say I don't need anything when I obviously did. I felt like I was lying. So I wonder what to offer when I offer help? A gift certificate to be used later when things are better? A meal but in containers that can be tossed (because who wants to do dishes)? I am stumped. I don't want to put more on the people by forcing them to say no but I also don't want them to think we are not willing to help or don't sincerely care.

Zach-Zach

He got the name after the fun character in "The Incredibles", Jack-Jack. He is my youngest of 3 boys. He was unexpected, only 15 months behind our middle son, but I knew he was exactly what God had planned. He is the one I understand least, even at the age of 3 (almost 4), I don't have a line on his soul and spirit.


My first son I connected with immediately. I KNEW him. He reflects me in many ways. My second son I immediately KNEW I was looking at his father. Zach appeared and I was confused.


I know you are thinking I am crazy. How can you possibly KNOW who a newborn is? How can you understand them and what they are thinking? Well I don't know but I did with those two. I DIDN'T with the third. He is definitely this amazing combination of both of us, a combination neither of us understand.

My love for him is unchanged, but my patience with him is regularly questioned. He refuses something he loved the day before. He screams when he can't get his pants on but refuses help. His recent assertion of independence is welcomed with the exception of the constant screaming (little girl ear piercing screams BTW). But then he climbs into bed with us EVERY night and refuses to fall asleep without me present. (Tried putting him back many times and I tell ya 3 am screaming is worse than day time screaming)

I pray I can be the Mom God needs me to be to him. I pray I can let him be the man God wants him to be. I pray that I don't ground him until he is 5 for all the screaming.

My life is amusing

to me and to others is seems. I didn't know it but folks are delighted at my status updates on Facebook. They think I am so clever and so funny, or so I am told. I cannot take credit however. These are my true sources of funny. They are delightful, imaginative, and pure boy.



Today, instead of making beds and tidying their rooms as they were told this morning they announced they were guinea pigs who build evil robots to take over the world. They spoke in guinea pig for a good 15 minutes then gave it up to give more specific robot building instructions.

I am often told boys are different than girls. I agree, don't you?

It's a new day....

sort of. So I have been busy, mentally busy that is, and unable to straighten my thoughts out long enough to put them down in the blog. If only there were some kind of mental iron, I would probably need the linen setting at this point.

I am trying to start a business and I feel so inadequate for the task. The door of opportunity has swung wide open and all I need to do is the work. My inner child is whining at the thought of all the work but I KNOW it should be done, needs to be done, and eventually will be done. Now to find a time-out chair for the inner child. I named her Amanda. I have known some whiny Amanda's in my life so it seemed appropriate. I apologize to the amazing non-whiny Amanda's out there.

So while Amanda is in time out I am going to do some research and work on a presentation. Then I will do laundry and go to the grocery store. It isn't even close to a glamorous life but it is blessed.

I am back.....

...maybe. Life has been blessedly busy. I remember last when DH was deployed and how desperately lonely I was everyday. It subsided as I made friends but that took months and months so most days were alone, most night were alone. I will never again complain about too busy. Too busy means you have a life. Too busy means you have friends and the biggest problem you have everyday is deciding what NOT to do so you don't overdo it.

Trust me, too busy is a blessing in comparison to too lonely. So hug your friends and family. Thank them for being a part of your busy life. They are a blessing from God. Enjoy every minute and don't worry so much about keeping up with the "things" around you.

Now I am off to QUICKLY tidy the house so I can have friends over tonight and get some quilting done. Before that I have to make phone calls, do some marketing for the biz, and maybe cook some dinner. Thank you, thank you, thank you, LORD for my busy blessed life.

How Do You Show Love

Recently we were memorizing/learning the verses most often used at weddings, the Love Chapter, 1 Corinthians 13. We only did verses 4 thru 7 which was plenty for the youngins'.


I always enjoy the conviction and admonition that comes to you when you are least expecting it. These verses did that to me, and they haven't stopped for over a week. I feel like someone dropped a ton of rocks on me.

I pray they are burned in my soul.
The big ones for me:

Love DOES NOT behave rudely. Ouch!

Love is NOT irritable or resentful. Double Ouch!

Love Bears all things; Believes all things; Hopes all things; Endures all things. (painful moaning).......call for help!!!

I have not shown love as I should. I am working on it. This will take my lifetime I am sure. Until then please forgive me.

I praise God for our new day so that we may begin again. I praise God for his Son, Jesus, who already paid for my sinful selfish lack of love. I praise God that He forgives me daily. He knows I would never be able to do this EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER. Whew! I am so glad he KNOWS me.

Subjects to avoid in conversations with military spouses | spouses, spouse, emotions - Close Up - Sun Journal

As an Army wife and participant in numerous deployments, ranging from 2 weeks to 12 months over the course of 10 years of marriage I can really relate to this article. 3 months is different than 12 and none of it compares to civilian life. I don't think these are all of the things you should never say. But they are certainly on the list. So if you know a military spouse, forgive us for losing our temper when you say one of these things. We are trying to hold it together, really we are, but we are really bad at it some days.


Subjects to avoid in conversations with military spouses | spouses, spouse, emotions - Close Up - Sun Journal