A new mission

Well, we have a new mission. This one includes the family I fear. DH is on "standby" of sorts. I don't really think about it daily but I am reminded in tiny moments that he could be swept away with a phone call.

Our marriage has never been typical. Our home life is always different. I think I resent that at times and other times I relish in it. This mission is no different.

Either way it is reality, and one I cannot change. So I will add this to my list of prayer requests and go on as all good army wives do. Or more importantly I will remain thankful for each moment and not complain about the things I do not have. I will pray for a contented heart and find joy even in my trials.

That is so much easier to type than do.

Am I sick...

or just getting old?

I woke up 3 hours past my normal wake up time. I just couldn't get my eyes to open or remember why I needed to get up. It was strange. I wonder if this is what getting "old" feels like. Perhaps 80 or 90 but I really hope I am just sick.

My boys have gotten good at playing quietly so morning chores can be delayed so the alarm systen I am used to is starting to fail.

The two little ones are just sick and act how I feel. So maybe I caught it from them. Please let this runny nose, congestion, headache, and lethargy be a cold! Because it too shall pass.

Wow, he really gets me!

I saw this on a blog. He totally describes my day, minus the interruptions every 2 minutes from my boys.

At least I know what to fix now.



Perhaps you shall hear from me less, or more depending on my chores.

Thank you Lord for only giving me two arms

A few years ago my son got a book titled "If Mom Had Three Arms" and he asked me to read it over and over and over again. I memorized it.



At first it was funny but eventually I started to over think it, of course. The thought of having more than two arms was stressful. One more arm meant one more thing to keep track of and control. One more arm meant I had to pay attention to it, move it, give it chores, etc. The book didn't stop at three arms. It went up to 16!

I remember the anatomy lesson that your brain is in two halves, not 3, not 4, and definitely not 16. Can you imagine your brain in 16 parts? I tried. It gave me a headache.

So for all of you wishing for one more arm, don't. Be thankful for two and slow down so those two can be very useful. Your brain will thank you.

A small house and big expectations

When we moved with the Army we could only afford so much house. We also were locked into certain homes because we had 4 dogs, 3 over 50lbs. Now my dogs cause less messes than my kids but most landlords will not even consider dogs.

So when we moved we lost 400 sq feet, an open floor plan, and a home only 7 years old. Instead we got lots of land and space to play outside with a central location. We also got a home that was 30 years old, not well maintained, lots of allergy producing trees, and more tiny closets than one person needs.

I ask alot of a home. We school here, run a business, cook, play, quilt, and do most family time here. We are homebodies.

Because of all that I move furniture. My husband says alot but honestly I have slowed down. I move it to odd places. I block doorways, put bookshelves inside closets, and use sewing machine cases to hold TVs. I use what works and what I have in the house. If it doesn't work then I go a little nuts.

So, dear husband, I know you don't like to move furniture but it makes for a better wife. Wouldn't you agree?

Why I Organize

I was not born into an organized home. I grew up learning how to save everything, keep it for a rainy day, or hang out to it out of guilt for the price or who made it for you. Stuff was very stressful in my childhood home, at least to me. To those around me stuff meant things. Clothes had meaning beyond covering your body. Objects represented events and memories whether they were beautiful or not. All of these things weighed heavily on me.

I tried to be what I saw around me. I tried to care about the clothes, trinkets, and status symbols. When I left for college I finally realized that it was not who I was. I looked around me and saw girls living happily without all those clothes. They didn't have 30 sweaters or 15 pairs of jeans. They didn't have 10 different dresses for church for only the Spring or 6 watches. I could be free and still be happy.

I remember the day I cleaned out my closet. I took several trash bags of clothing to the dumpster (I didn't know what else to do with it back then). My organizing days had begun! I had found my freedom.

Now I am 35 with a husband, 3 boys, 3 dogs, and a home. I buy clothes that are comfortable and reasonably priced. Cluttered countertops and things piled about still really bother me but I don't always have the energy to tackle them.

But the most important thing I realized is if it isn't organized I can't function. If things are out of place so am I. Now everyday clutter that can be put away quickly doesn't bother me. It has a home I just haven't put it away yet. It is the stuff that doesn't have a home that gets to me, wears me down, and ultimately effects my long term sense of self.

Ridiculous? I think so but it is who I am. I can't get around it. I have tried. So today I will be reorganizing the house a bit. I will be very happy when it is done. My husband (who will be doing the heavy lifting) probably won't agree.

Happy Thanksgiving and Merry Christmas!

Heartbreak

Today I have before me the very picture of living a heartbroken life. I see all the reasons her life lead to this point and I see myself in her. She chooses her path by following her broken heart. This heart was broken long ago at time when she could not protect it. It was broken by those who were the protectors. Instead she was caught in their wake of selfish lies and discarded along the way.

Now she tries to make her way unaware that the real heartbreak will never be healed. I have had similar heartaches, though not as pronounced. I sought comfort in similar places. I fought the same battles with my heart. I never won.

Instead I was saved. Christ sought me out and saved me. It was nothing I did nor did I know that I needed that saving. It has been a long road to today. I still feel the scars and deal with the consequences. But I no longer follow my broken heart. I pray the same for this girl in front of me.