Thursday, November 11, 2010

To all who served.....

I say thank you.

I am daily reminded of your sacrifice and the lives you led without the luxury of technology, cell phones, and skype. You did it without great equipment or pay.

You did it knowing that many of you would not return home. You left knowing you would only be writing letters that would reach home after a month's journey.

Your children did not always know you when you returned. Parts of your life had moved on and still you served. Many will never fully understand all your sacrfices and that is okay.

So thank you from those of us who do understand in part. I know this not why you served but still we are grateful.

Tuesday, November 09, 2010

helping hands

Recently I have been witness to the offer of help and the giver of the same. I have also in the recent past been the receiver of such help. I remember when my middle son was hospitalized with a spinal infection and subsequent treatments at home for 6 weeks. We were locked in the house to prevent more infections, loss of sleep due to the IV medications, and fear if I didn't do my job he would die. That was alot to absorb and I still don't think I ever fully grasped what was going on. I was just trying to get through it and do what was set before me. I couldn't think about what we needed past the next 8 hours.

But there were many hands offering help. Genuine offers of sincere loving help and I had nothing for them to do. The help I needed couldn't be brought by distant friends. I needed someone to make a copy of me so she could run around and do everything. So I didn't have to tell her where to put the dishes or how that was supposed to work.

Have you ever considered how many people it would take to replace you? I did. It would take 6 people doing 6 different jobs to replace me. Mom, cook, cleaner, dog wrangler (we had 4), bookkeeper, nurse (I can change a bandage like no one else), and general manager of all activities. Maybe more. I am highly skilled apparently, or just very good at doing lots of things at one time. I am still deciding.

Turning down those offers made me feel guilty. It was difficult to simply say I don't need anything when I obviously did. I felt like I was lying. So I wonder what to offer when I offer help? A gift certificate to be used later when things are better? A meal but in containers that can be tossed (because who wants to do dishes)? I am stumped. I don't want to put more on the people by forcing them to say no but I also don't want them to think we are not willing to help or don't sincerely care.

Sunday, November 07, 2010


He got the name after the fun character in "The Incredibles", Jack-Jack. He is my youngest of 3 boys. He was unexpected, only 15 months behind our middle son, but I knew he was exactly what God had planned. He is the one I understand least, even at the age of 3 (almost 4), I don't have a line on his soul and spirit.

My first son I connected with immediately. I KNEW him. He reflects me in many ways. My second son I immediately KNEW I was looking at his father. Zach appeared and I was confused.

I know you are thinking I am crazy. How can you possibly KNOW who a newborn is? How can you understand them and what they are thinking? Well I don't know but I did with those two. I DIDN'T with the third. He is definitely this amazing combination of both of us, a combination neither of us understand.

My love for him is unchanged, but my patience with him is regularly questioned. He refuses something he loved the day before. He screams when he can't get his pants on but refuses help. His recent assertion of independence is welcomed with the exception of the constant screaming (little girl ear piercing screams BTW). But then he climbs into bed with us EVERY night and refuses to fall asleep without me present. (Tried putting him back many times and I tell ya 3 am screaming is worse than day time screaming)

I pray I can be the Mom God needs me to be to him. I pray I can let him be the man God wants him to be. I pray that I don't ground him until he is 5 for all the screaming.
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