Joy in Suffering

There has been much talk recently of trials and suffering.  As a world class complainer, I find the topic difficult to wrap my thoughts around.

Why can’t we just fix it?  Why does it have to be this way?  It must be my fault because this doesn’t happen to people who do it “right” or “better”.  I do not understand.

This morning I tried to explain 9/11 to my 8 year old son.  I couldn’t do it without tears.  The fear I felt that day came rushing back.  The memory of standing with co-workers watching the news in a large downtown area far away from home surrounded by strangers was overwhelming.  Trying to keep it together as I rode back with a gentlemen my father’s age across the deep south was difficult.  The man was born in Iran and fled decades ago because the same thing that happened that day in our country happened in his country to a much greater degree.  He understood what had happened.  He already knew what it all meant that day.

I am working on understanding and by working I mean praying.  I know seeing the joy in trials and rejoicing at my pain when the suffering is unbearable will not come from me.  It will not come from my heart.

It will be gift, a blessing.  To rejoice in God being glorified during tragedy, to embrace pain as a gift, as an opportunity is not in my nature.

10 years later many blessings can been seen.  The gifts shining against the backdrop of such pain makes them shine that much brighter.  Embracing my children that did not exist on that day and to count my blessings since then is overwhelming.

I pray I can look faithfully to God during trials, large and small.  I pray I can thank Him for His gifts even when I do not understand them.

Today I am thankful for brothers building memories.

I am thankful for father and son making memories.  Memories made not on my timeline but His.

Today I am thankful for brave men who run toward the sound of battle. 

I am thankful for the pain of that day and many since.  Those wonderful days have molded and changed me for good.  Not goodness from my own heart but goodness given to me by the only One who has any to give.

I pray it is the same for you.

Lessons Learned–Why I Will Never Have A Super Mom Cape

1. Cocktail sausages and strawberries can count as a late dinner.

2.  I am my mother’s daughter more and more with each passing day.

3.  I think my mother is a wonderful brilliant woman even if it took me almost 36 years to fully realize it. (Sorry Mom, couldn’t resist using this pic)

4.  You can freeze buttermilk.  My cooking world has opened wide!

5.  I really like to use buttermilk in recipes.

6.  I have been a writer all along.  I just needed to listen to the voices in my head (no not those voices).

7.  I get very grumpy when I don’t get to write or quilt.

8.  When I am grumpy I blame my husband for everything even though it is rarely his fault.

9.  My husband is a very forgiving man.

10. There are only so many hours of the day you can be the pack leader.

11. Being followed by an actual pack every second of the day is exhausting. (Yes, there are 5 dogs in the picture who all live inside with us all day.)

12. I think better when my floors are vacuumed.

13. A West Texas Girl who grew up with big sunsets and wide open spaces needs a GPS on a cloudy tree lined highway in North Carolina no matter how often she has driven the road.

14. My ideas are good.  My ability to implement them is bad.

15. Too many good ideas that whither in the shadow of life can make anyone feel like a failure.

16. The best things in my life were never my idea.

We Are That Family

Thankful for Little Boys

I am thankful this week for their ability to change anything, ANYTHING into a weapon.

How they can have a running conversation on their favorite Super Car throughout the entire day.

I am thankful for a boy’s ability to memorize the features of 20+ dinosaurs and make their brothers guess at breakfast every morning for weeks on end which one they are thinking about.

I am thankful they never care if they match but if they have on a super hero shirt or truck/car/motorcycle shirt holes or not.

I am thankful for running hugs that knock the breath out of you and squished up faces that hate kisses but take them anyway.

Thank you God for these boys.  They are more than I deserve and teach me something new everyday.

Thankful Thursday–Music

As a mom you often find you cannot turn things off.

Your brain, children, dinner, pets, grocery shopping, laundry, etc.

To combat my distracted self so I can finish cleaning and laundry I use my iPod to quiet those thoughts so I don't walk back and forth through the house forgetting why I am standing in front of the refrigerator and then walked to the bedroom.

I only have three requirements for my playlist, it is easy to sing to, clean, and fun.

This is my newest (to me) favorite song.  I heard it on someone’s blog and had to have it. 

It also makes me feel like Spring and Summer are just around the corner!  Aaahhhhhh……

Thankful Thursdays–Aprons

Donna Reed and June Cleaver had it right.  The women of that decade were wise in the use of aprons.  Did you see the dresses they were cooking in?

                                                  Image source

I know we have better washing machines and more durable fabrics but saving money and clothes is always important.  I am on a tight tight tight budget.  I don’t have time or funds to replace clothing.  This is not to say I am a pig.  But I also cook, clean, raise boys, have 5 dogs (we were down to 3, long story), one guinea pig, and actually leave the house.  Stuff happens.

“But Sgt Z don’t you know all the handy dandy tricks for getting stains out of fabric?”

Yes, I do.  I have the Martha Stewart “I have a bazillion hours in one day” Homekeeping Handbook with the very clever chart. (Okay I actually love the book but who are we kidding? It is very informative and useful but requires you have time to actually do the home keeping.)

So in light of my predicament and my unwillingness to part with certain clothing I am embracing the apron.  Join me, won’t you?

I have 3 of these aprons now.  I just ordered them off Amazon and they look like they can take a beating.  They are by Chef Works. I originally ordered one but quickly realized they get dirty hence their usefulness.  So when one is dirty and you only have one then you have no aprons. (Did you like that story problem? Can you tell I work with a 2nd grader on math everyday?)

Seriously, this seems small in the light of important wonderful miracles of life we contend with daily.  But sometimes you are just thankful you don’t have to change clothes again or can walk out of the house and not be embarrassed you never noticed the stream of soda/ketchup/spit up/chocolate/milk/cheese down your shirt because you haven’t looked in a mirror since your kids got you up at 5am.

The Apron and Book pics were from Amazon.com.

Linked up today over at The Nut House.

Also linked to Thankful Thursday with http://www.eph2810.com/.

Thankful Thursday

Rejoice in the Lord always. Again I will say rejoice. Philipians 4:4

I am thankful for this Lady (on the right).  I am thankful for a God who answers a prayer spoken over 10 years ago.  I am thankful and in awe of finding her next door to a rent house we picked online with a 2 week notice to move. I am thankful for a new skill I can use to bless others even if they use it for car tracks. 

A skill that requires I spend large amounts of time with these two ladies (above) who understand my fabric addiction.  Ladies who understand that I have 6 projects going on and I still bought fabric for another (isn’t it lovely? Antique Fair from Moda).

Ladies who understand that there are days when my points will never match.  Days when I will lose my scissors even though they are tied to me.  Who love me enough to give me a quilting timeout to collect myself.

So, thank you ladies.  See you tomorrow.  I promise to have my blocks ready if not I will give you cheesecake to distract you.

Linked up today over at Thankful Thursday. Thanks for the idea Kathryn!