A small break for updates

Hey wonderful readers! I am taking a small break to polish the page and write some needed items. I realized with the increase in traffic I had better get my ducks in a row.

I also want to get cheesecake information up for customers and I am a little behind in the html code department. So rest assured things will be up and running with wonderful new recipes, projects, and general boy wackiness to brighten your day soon.

Much Love,
Sgt. Zapple

Cheesecake Saturday–Kamilah’s Turtle Cheesecake

I dedicate this one to you Kamilah.  Thanks for the inspiration.

My sweet friend Kamilah asked for cheesecake lessons and I happily obliged.  I will use any excuse to make cheesecake.  When I asked her which one she wanted to make she said Turtle Cheesecake.  Well I have never made one and didn’t have a recipe.

We all know my aversion to candy bars in my cheesecake.  I want cheesecake to taste like a cheesecake, not a candy bar, or ice cream toppings.  If I want any of those desserts I will pop out to the store or the ice cream shop to get them.  But please don’t put them on my cheesecake.

My search of the internet was met with disappointment.  My opinions on cheesecake seem to be confined to only a few.  I have spoken to those of you who agree with me.  I know you are out there you just apparently don’t post recipes on the internet.

After I regrouped I decided to begin with the same crust as the Caramel Pecan Cheesecake a few weeks ago. The chopped pecans in the bottom are a revelation.  I love those wonderful bits of yumminess.  I did add a teaspoon of vanilla to enhance the flavor of the cookies on the second go around. They needed something.

The new and fun ingredient is the caramel that I decided to use.  This I cannot take credit for because it came from my husband’s grandmother.  I have no idea where she learned it but it is a fantastic short cut.  What she used it in is a sore spot between my husband and I which pretty much started me down the road of difficult desserts.  Totally different blog post.

Where was I?

Oh yea!  This.

Boil one can of sweetened condensed milk, the brand does not matter. (You can do 4 or 5 at once with paper off please) Boil steadily, submerged (water over the top) for 4 to 5 hours.  Do not put more cans than can be comfortably surrounded by water.  This will change the boiling time.  Check the pot every 1/2 hour to make sure the water is still above the tops of the cans.  When it drops below then pour in more water.  After 4 or 5 hours (not an exact number here folks) turn off the heat and let the pot sit there.  Really don’t touch it.  Don’t get excited and try to open the can.  It will explode hot caramel stuff all over and potentially burn you.  LEAVE IT ALONE! Got it?

Okay, after the cans cooled to room temperature dry them off and set them aside.  Because they have been boiled and remain sealed in the can they can go back in your pantry for months.  I don’t want to say years because I am not sure but I have had some for over a year and my mom has too.

(Please keep in mind that this actually takes an entire day just to get the caramel stuff ready. As I often repeat to myself late late late late at night waiting for one to cool – Cheesecake is NOT a last minute dessert.) 

Anyway, it comes out all gooey, thick, and caramelized.  It is quite rich and not too sweet so perfect for me.

Next, take small dollops and place evenly and carefully on the bottom of the crust.  This is difficult because it is sticky and doesn’t want to come off your spatula.  It also wants to stick to the crust.  This clingy co-dependent attitude from the yummy goo only serves to rip your beautiful crust apart.  I prefer not to enable so small dollops pushed off with another spoon evenly spread about. Then short one directional (no back and forth) strokes with an offset spatula to smooth it out a bit.  It takes some patience but it will spread.  Trust me.  Reserve a 2 tablespoons for the batter.

(I will say that I think it needs a little more caramel.  I am going to add 2 cans to the next cheesecake.  First to thicken the bottom layer and second to enrich the caramel flavor in the cheesecake.  Still it is not too sweet, rich but not sweet.)

The batter comes together just like the New York Cheesecake.  It is the Junior’s Cheesecake Recipe, not mine.  But it is quite basic and useful.

Ingredients:

4 blocks of Philadelphia Cream Cheese (full fat, room temperature)

1/4 cup cornstarch

1 2/3 cups of sugar

1 tablespoon Vanilla

2 eggs

3/4 cup Heavy Whipping Cream

8 oz. Bittersweet chocolate

2 tablespoons of caramel (See recipe above)

Mix together for at least 3 minutes, stopping to scrape down the sides of the bowl, 1 block of cream cheese, cornstarch, and 1/3 cup of sugar.  After it is thoroughly mixed beginning adding remaining cream cheese one block at a time, scraping down the sides after each block. (The scraping is very important, don’t skip this please)

Next add the remaining sugar, slowly, with more scraping.  Then add vanilla and eggs, one at a time, scraping after each one.

Finally add the heavy cream.  Do not over mix, just stir in until combined.

This next bit is mine:

Now divide the batter in half into two bowls.  Add the remaining caramel to one half, stir until combined.  There will still be a few chunks which is fine, you just want a little caramel flavor.

Melt the chocolate using a double boiler (glass bowl over gently boiling water on stove top).  Let cool a few minutes.  Then combine with batter in second bowl. 

You can also use the microwave to melt the chocolate.  1 minute on high. I like the shake the bowl so I am not actually stirring the chocolate to test for meltiness.  Add 30 seconds until melted, removing after each to see if it is melted.  It rarely takes more than 2 minutes.

Now spoon chocolate batter into the crust, smooth with an offset spatula.  Then gently spoon the caramel batter on top of the chocolate layer and smooth.

Now it is time for the water bath and baking.  (The water bath is an entirely different post, next week.)

Bake at 350 for 1 hour 15 minutes.  Convection ovens do change how it will bake.  If you can turn that off then please do.

When the time is up simply remove the cheesecake and let it sit on the countertop.  Do not touch it or try to check if it is done.  Remove it from the water bath/foil and just walk away.  Once it is cooled to room temperature move it to the refrigerator.  It is still in the springform pan at this point.  Do not take that off.  Let it cool for at least 6 hours or better still overnight.

After that gently remove the springform sides by gently running a knife around the outside and unlatching it.  Then remove carefully. 

Now you can pull it out for the decorating.  This is not necessary but it does look good. 

Melt bittersweet chocolate, about 5 ounces (microwave or double boiler, your choice), and put into pastry bag with a narrow tip.  It doesn’t matter the shape because the melted chocolate will not hold a shape.  It is melted.  It just needs to be narrow.  Now quickly, and I mean quickly, make lines about a 1/2 inch apart.  Go back and forth, making your turns while your tip is off the cheesecake.  I do this on a sheet pan and then transfer the finished product to the cake plate or box for transport later.  This way the mess is on the pan, not the cheesecake.  Now go perpendicular to the lines you just made.

You have to do this very quickly.  The chocolate pours out the tip and you can’t stop it.  So concentrate and go fast.  Put it back in the refrigerator for an hour to chill the chocolate.

Really, I loved how this turned out.  I will add more caramel because it can take it without being too much.  I also want some more flavor out of that crust.  I know it has more to offer.  But overall a great cheesecake and it does look amazing. 

It also does not taste like a candy bar.

We Are That Family

Lessons Learned–Why I Will Never Have A Super Mom Cape

1. Cocktail sausages and strawberries can count as a late dinner.

2.  I am my mother’s daughter more and more with each passing day.

3.  I think my mother is a wonderful brilliant woman even if it took me almost 36 years to fully realize it. (Sorry Mom, couldn’t resist using this pic)

4.  You can freeze buttermilk.  My cooking world has opened wide!

5.  I really like to use buttermilk in recipes.

6.  I have been a writer all along.  I just needed to listen to the voices in my head (no not those voices).

7.  I get very grumpy when I don’t get to write or quilt.

8.  When I am grumpy I blame my husband for everything even though it is rarely his fault.

9.  My husband is a very forgiving man.

10. There are only so many hours of the day you can be the pack leader.

11. Being followed by an actual pack every second of the day is exhausting. (Yes, there are 5 dogs in the picture who all live inside with us all day.)

12. I think better when my floors are vacuumed.

13. A West Texas Girl who grew up with big sunsets and wide open spaces needs a GPS on a cloudy tree lined highway in North Carolina no matter how often she has driven the road.

14. My ideas are good.  My ability to implement them is bad.

15. Too many good ideas that whither in the shadow of life can make anyone feel like a failure.

16. The best things in my life were never my idea.

We Are That Family

Tackle It Tuesday–THE OVEN!

I have a short list of cleaning chores I HATE. 

The Oven

See I told you it was short.  (The moderately dislike list is longer)

To avoid the chore even longer I often vacuum, yes vacuum, out the burnt food crumbs on the bottom just to make myself feel better.  My smoke detector is disconnected in the kitchen because I set it off A LOT with the dirty oven.  Really, last 4 or 5 places I have lived the smoke detector was disconnected in the kitchen.  Not safe but saved my marriage.  It really really really really irritates the hubby.

I would like to say that I am not a terrible cook who constantly burns stuff.  I am just forgetful and maybe lazy.  I forget that certain dishes run over and don’t feel like making another pan dirty to put unde r it and just stick it in anyway.

So this morning, while still in my jammies and possessed with a desire to feel like something has been completed this week I dove into my dirty oven. 

I thought about before pictures but realized I would be embarrassed to show how bad I let it get.  So here are the aftermath and end result pictures.

I used this cleaner from the dollar store on the recommendation of my neighbor.  She used it 2 weeks ago and her oven is immaculate.  Mine did not turn out so perfectly.  I think is has something to do with my previously stated problem, unwillingness to clean at all.  I also think baking soda and a really good piece of steel wool would have worked just as well. 

I ordered new drip pans on Amazon because the current set are rusting out.  I also ordered a liner for the bottom of my oven.  I had no idea these existed.  The guilt I can avoid is worth every penny.

I am also saving up for a new stove/oven slide-in range that I will just take with us from post to post.  I have one at our house in Texas but it is currently being rented out (the house not the oven).  One of these days I will just trade out with the TX house and take my flat surface double oven slide in range with me.  I cried when I left it behind.

Now I am going to put some good lotion on my hands.  I also often forget to use rubber gloves .

Thankful for Little Boys

I am thankful this week for their ability to change anything, ANYTHING into a weapon.

How they can have a running conversation on their favorite Super Car throughout the entire day.

I am thankful for a boy’s ability to memorize the features of 20+ dinosaurs and make their brothers guess at breakfast every morning for weeks on end which one they are thinking about.

I am thankful they never care if they match but if they have on a super hero shirt or truck/car/motorcycle shirt holes or not.

I am thankful for running hugs that knock the breath out of you and squished up faces that hate kisses but take them anyway.

Thank you God for these boys.  They are more than I deserve and teach me something new everyday.

An Onion Shortcut

I love the flavor of onions but dread the chopping, tears, and mess that always comes with them.  When I buy them they usually sit there because I put off using them for the previously stated reasons.  Then they rot as I look at them day after day mocking me with their savory hard to get at flavor.

Being the lazy cheap resourceful person that I am I figured out a way to get around the chopping, at least for awhile.  It also lets you use up those onions you bought on sale before they go bad.

I buy a bag full of onions or 3 to 4 very large Vidalia onions at a time.  Then I peel (quickly) the outer skin, cut into 1/4th or 1/8ths, just until the easily fit into your food processor.  If they are too large they will not fall to the bottom and what is nearest the blade will turn to onion mushiness.  This is a picture of onions that have NOT been cut small enough.  The mushy result will be used in soup.

If you don’t have a food processor then I would recommend chopping all at one time.  If you are going to tear up then I suggest putting on some sad music and make a moment out of it.  Then you will be done for a few months.

I use a chopping blade in the food processor and pulse until chopped.  Turning it on and leaving it will turn your onions to mush.  The pulsing chops and knocks the larger chunks down toward the blade while keeping the mush at bay.  This takes around 2 minutes or longer if you let the 5 year old do it.

Then I fill gallon plastic bags with one to two large onions or 4 to 5 smaller onions.  Lay flat on a cookie sheet and label if you want.  I like to score mine with my hand so they are in easy to break off sections.  Also, laying flat on the cookie sheet makes them easy to stack in the freezer and keeps them from conforming to whatever object is underneath.  Because if they are in the metal grate then they will freeze in that shape, squish between the metal bars, and be impossible to get off without tearing the bag.  Not fun.

Once they are frozen you can easily, really easily, break off as much as you need for what every recipe you are doing.  They defrost in about 2 minutes or 30 seconds in a hot pan.  The bonus, no tears or running to the store for onions.

Because we are a cooked onion lovin’ family this is really the only way I use them.  If you are a raw onion lover I don’t see why this would not work for you too.  Someone give it a shot and let me know.  But if they will be cooked in anyway then this definitely will work with any onion.

FYI….if you stop to take pictures of the onions you don’t avoid the crying part.

A quick public service announcement:  Onions, even in small quantities cooked or raw, are life threatening to dogs and cats.  They can cause a deadly reaction called Heinz Body Anemia where the red blood cells will burst.  Treatment is available at your vets office but please be aware what your pet is into.

Linked up to Works For Me Wednesday over at We Are That Family

Also, linked up at Women Living Well

Cookies and Milk for Dinner

Yup, I did it.

I made cookies and let them all eat it for dinner.

Why?  Well because it was Sunday and it was dinner time and I wanted cookies and I was tired and they wanted the cookies and they had a big lunch and I am THAT mom and any other excuse I could come up with .

I want them to remember making cookies and having fun together as brothers.  I want to also enjoy that time and not turn into Monster Mommy trying to clean and cook at the same time.  I want Sundays to be about God and rest and family and joy.  So I gave them cookies and milk for dinner.

Don’t worry it won’t happen every Sunday.  Usually we have cheesecake .

Linked up to Works For Me Wednesday over at We Are That Family